Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
