South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
