this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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