oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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