Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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