Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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