Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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