the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i think im in europe. pls send help
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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