hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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