oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
