His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
