it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize