I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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