trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
