Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
