I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
