i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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