She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
