just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she told me i tasted like america
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
