If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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