i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
