so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
