So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
