He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
