Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
