I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
