The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
