I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
