they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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