HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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