left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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