I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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