And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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