i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
