I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
