Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
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I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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