You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
