God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
