Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
