I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
