im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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