He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Randomize
