I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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