I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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