guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
