i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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