May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
