toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
