Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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