I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
