I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
