Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize