Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
