i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
